she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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