She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize