i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
