Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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