she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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