You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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