Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
where are my eyebrows?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
