I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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