I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
