I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
