My friends, they love my intelligence
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
