I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
