her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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