we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
