By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just had sex on a roof
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
