You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize