the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
