We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
