did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
