Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
