I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
