I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
