Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Randomize
