Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
