somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
