Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
