Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize