Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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