Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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