But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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