I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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