Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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