Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Operation Purity has been aborted
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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