I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
