Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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