I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I look better un-naked...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
