plz talk dirty to me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
