Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
