Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
