Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
