yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
