guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
