Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
