Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
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