just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
