I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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