Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
smell my finger.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
