I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
