why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
