party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize