We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
