party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
it's like iHOP with fire
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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