You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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