You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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