He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
