the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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