This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
