He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
