i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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